Done with Lemons

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, right? Well, this girl is totally over squeezing.

I know that this post could be really angry, but I don't want to go in that direction. I think I believe in karma too much. So, I don't want to wish ill things on others, but I am upset. I didn't get that job. But I think that the worse thing is that I know who did. It's like getting punched in the gut and then kicked in the face for good measure. And to top things off, an important potential client meeting was cancelled. That was supposed to be tomorrow.

I know I should learn from this and move on. But it all happened today. I feel like I got rained on. And then hailed on. I feel like I should run and take cover for fear of being struck by lightning next. I know that my not getting that job is nothing personal. But it totally is. That job was (at least it seemed to be) a great fit. A ten minute commute! A small office! And income to supplement things.

I guess it wasn't meant to be. Maybe God is saying, "There's something even better coming." I sure hope so, because I think I've become so accustomed to disappointments at this point that anything good would be welcome relief. And the thing is that I can't really talk about this anywhere else. Because while I'm sad that I didn't get that job, I am happy for the person who did (at least I will be in the future). But this isn't something I can talk about on my professional blog or on Facebook or Twitter. So I'm thankful I have this space. Even if no one reads it.

I'm just so discouraged. I know that tomorrow is another day and I will get through this, but I was so hopeful. I was feeling really encouraged. And now. Well crap. Darn it, I need to catch a break when it comes to these life altering moments. I need a "sign" of some sort that will let me see that, YES, I am moving in the right direction. It's moments like these that my faith is tested.

I'm thankful to have encouraging friends and family who support me and try to make me feel better. I'm thankful to be in good health. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head and food to eat. I'm so thankful. I'm looking for that silver lining while I spend the next couple of days wallowing. Don't mind me.