This is one of those sensitive topics that is so difficult, and yet so necessary to breach. Especially when you're married. I mean, clearly, we had to discuss money before we were married, but a few weeks ago, we really got into the nitty gritty of things. And it was hard.
But now I think we both feel a little better about it, although, we do wish that our situation was better than it is. But who doesn't? I mean, I'm so happy that we have a roof over our heads (that we own), food to fill our hunger, and enough to enjoy life. I couldn't really ask for that much more. When I get in that place of thinking we need more, I just remember that there are people out there with so much less. People who really do need more. When I get that reality check, I remind myself to be thankful for all that we have.
If you are newly married or newly engaged, I definitely recommend taking a day to sit down with your spouse/fiance and having a frank conversation about your finances. There's nothing worse than being on different pages and then having to deal with any consequences of bad spending habits later. Have you ever seen that episode of How I Met Your Mother where Lily and Marshall are trying to get a loan to by an apartment? It's the Dowistrepla episode. (On a side note, HIMYM is one of my favorite TV shows, so funny!)
In order to keep our finances in order, we use Mint.com. I actually started using Mint maybe four years ago after reading about it in Money Magazine. It's a great tool for tracking expenses, setting goals, and keeping budgets in check. OH and it's FREE.
It's an ongoing process, and I think that money is something you MUST be open to discuss. Otherwise, the relationship will suffer, undoubtedly. Stress will mount. Resentment may fester. It's just not healthy.
4 weeks ago
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